Last time I promised that I wouldn’t do any more junk food recipes for awhile. Don’t worry, I’m keeping that promise. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do healthy recipes, either, so I decided to do something totally different.

If you have e-mail, no doubt you’ve received the Useful Tips one. It’s one of the staples of e-mail forwards, and after reading it for the zillionth time, it occurred to me that millions of people are taking this e-mail at face value; just assuming it’s true, and then passing it on to friends. Has anyone ever even tried any of these tips? Does anyone know if they actually work? 

I decided to find out. I decided to try out each and every one of those tips (except for the really lame ones) and see if they actually worked. Unfortunately I didn’t have time to test them all. Maybe I’ll do the rest next time. Here are the results of my pain-staking research; I’ve ranked the tips according to how well they worked. I’m also the listing the ones that were too lame to test; you can try them if you want. Tell me if they worked or not. (I don’t have to do all the work around here, do I?)

WORKED REALLY WELL

Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up.

I’ve done this before, with a really hard bag of brown sugar. It worked beautifully. All that rock-hard brown sugar was turned into the softest brown sugar I’ve ever seen!

Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispie treats in the pan — the marshmallow won’t stick to your fingers. 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but half the fun of making Rice Krispie treats is getting the stuff all over your hands so you have to eat it off! Now, am I right or am I right? But you neat-niks out there will appreciate this tip. It worked perfectly. After running my hands under cold water I was able to press the treats in the pan without any sticking whatsoever! This tip works.

To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

This worked really well! First I scientifically selected two lemons of the exact same size by submerging a bunch of lemons under water and measuring how much water each one displaced. (See Mom? I was paying attention in class all those years.) I put one in the refrigerator and left the other one sitting out while I tested the other tips. And would you believe that after all that, when I went to squeeze the lemons the one I’d left on the counter had disappeared! Mom assured me she hadn’t touched it, so I have no idea where it went. I suppose I could have dunked more lemons to find an exact match, but by that time I didn’t care. I grabbed another lemon that looked about the same size and rolled it on the counter, and then squeezed it. I got 1/4 cup of juice. Then I squeezed the refrigerated lemon, and got much less than 1/4 cup of juice! So this tip really worked. Now, what do I do with all this lemon juice…?

To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop - skillet will be much easier to clean. 

The first part was fun—purposefully burning food on the skillet. (You know, as opposed to accidentally burning food on the skillet, as we Super-Cook Wannabes are prone to do.) The second part wasn’t nearly as fun—washing it—but it was much easier after boiling dish soap in it.

Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces - no more stains. 

I left straight tomato juice sitting in the fridge for a week, and this really worked!
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator - it will keep for weeks. 
I actually forgot about the celery after I wrapped it in foil. But when I remembered to check on it, it was still good!

SORTA WORKED

Use a meat baster to “squeeze” your pancake batter onto the hot griddle - perfect shaped pancakes every time. 

This tip sounded like such a good idea, I almost didn’t bother testing it, but it’s a good thing I did. As the old adage goes, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” Squeezing pancake batter out with a meat baster did result in rounder—though not “perfect shaped”— pancakes, but I had to refill the baster three times in order to get a medium size pancake! It was too much of a pain for me. If you’re working in a restaurant or serving breakfast to royalty and rounder pancakes are a must, then go for it. Otherwise, grab a spoon.

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato - it absorbs the excess salt for an instant “fix me up.” 

I tested this by making soup too salty on purpose, and then throwing in a peeled potato. But I had to leave it in forever before I noticed any difference in saltiness. I personally thought it was still too salty, but my mom said it worked, and my brother ate the soup (and the potato) and didn’t say anything about it being too salty. So I guess this works as longs as there isn’t too much excess salt.

Brush beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. 

Oops, did that say beaten egg white? I kind of beat it. A little bit, by hand (which is much harder than it looks, believe me.) I think the results might have been a little better if I’d really beaten it with an electric mixer. As it was, the crust was definitely glossier than normal. It probably would’ve been beautifully glossy if the crust hadn’t been too dry, and if I hadn’t left it in too long so the edges got burnt. I am, after all, the Super-Cook Wannabe.

THE JURY’S STILL OUT ON THESE

When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn’s natural sweetness. 

My mom boiled two ears of corn, one with half a cube of sugar, one without, and wouldn’t tell me which was which. I couldn’t really tell a difference, and actually picked the wrong one. Maybe more sugar is needed...? 

To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water.  If it sinks, it is fresh - if it rises to the surface, throw it away. 

I’m not sure if this one worked. I immersed an egg I knew to be fresh in a glass of cool, salted water, and it went to the bottom. I didn’t have a bad egg to try, so I don’t know how it works with bad eggs. But my mom confirmed that the theory is sound; bad eggs have sulpheric acid in them which would cause them to float in a pan (glass) of cool, salted water. So try it out and let me know how it works!

Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water. 

I had great difficulty testing this one. I couldn’t get food to stain my fingers! So I tried permanent marker. The potato got a little of it off. I suppose food stains are different. If you have any tough food stains on your fingers, trying rubbing them with slices of raw potato, and let me know if it works.

To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling. 

I’m not sure how well this one worked. I boiled two pans of eggs; one with salt, and one without salt, and none of the eggshells cracked. 

Polish jewelry - drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. 

I tried this on several pieces of jewelry. They all looked a little brighter afterward...depending on who you talked to. We couldn’t agree on the effectiveness of this one.

Clean a toilet - drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush, and flush. 

Our toilets don’t get that dirty, so I couldn’t really see that it did all that much. But my mom said it worked.

TOO  LAME TO BE TESTED

Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.  The throbbing will go away. 

I don’t get many headaches, and when I do I’d rather pop a painkiller than rub a—yuck—lime on my forehead! Try it if you want, and let me know how it works—but in the meantime, please pass the Tylenol.

Don’t throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. 

We usually don’t have all that much leftover wine sitting around the house, so I decided not to test this tip. Besides, what’s there to test? Freeze it, use it…if leftover wine is a real problem at your house, give this a try. If it doesn’t work, I’ll send you one of the zillion unused bottles of cooking wine taking up space in our pantry. Who buys this stuff, anyway?

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead - no white mess on the outside of the cake.

I guess I don’t really see the point of this one. First of all, who actually flours the pan? (Or is this one of those Super-Cook things I need to learn?) I always use this special concoction my sister and I learned how to make at a cake-decorating class. Mix together equal parts of flour, liquid oil, and Crisco. Use it on any pan; bread cake, whatever, and stuff simply will not stick. Anyway, back to my objections to the relevancy of this tip: the cake gets covered up with frosting anyway, so who cares if it has white stuff on it? But you purists out there (you know who you are!) will appreciate this…I guess…

Have fun putting your new knowledge to work! Let me know how it goes! 

Help the Super-Cook Wannabe by sending your favorite recipes to: Christiana, 493 W Desert Ave., Gilbert, AZ, 85233. Or e-mail them to christianamag@juno.com. She promises to try all the recipes she prints and let you know how they turn out!

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