Dear Friends,
This past year has gone by quickly for me, and I can hardly believe that it is almost December again. I have spent most of the year at home. During the summer I went on some short ministry trips, and these past 2 1/2 months have been spent with Character First! here in Gallaway, TN, serving the communities in the Memphis area by teaching character in the public schools, and helping different churches and community centers in the area with their children’s programs.

If there was one lesson that I could pinpoint that God was trying to teach me this year, it was how to be a good leader. He hasn’t simply been teaching me about it, He has been training me to be a leader. Of course, every lesson that I learn is not just for the here and now, but also prepares me for the future. It’s not just a test of my character, to find out if I’m real or not, but it also has the purpose of molding me into the Image of Jesus Christ. 

At the beginning of this year, I was unsure of exactly where I was headed. I knew that the Lord had called me into children’s ministries, but I didn’t have a lot of details in mind. Since then I’ve learned that when the Lord lays a specific call on one’s life, there’s no telling how or where He’ll lead in the fulfilling of it.

At the time I was busy working on a Bible study called the Journal of Faith. The study took me through each book of the Bible looking for insights on faith, and also into the lives of some men and women of faith, both Biblical and modern. Through each of the areas that stood out to me during that study, I began to realize that God had a specific plan for my life and all I had to do was trust Him. I didn’t have to plan out every detail, but simply follow in the light that He had already provided, trusting that He would provide more direction at just the right time. My job was to “be all there” wherever He had me at the moment, and not always be straining my eyes to see into the future. Of course, hindsight in 20/20, while foresight is nearly blind. I had to be a good follower.

To be a good leader, one must also be a good follower. I’ve learned that when I “take over” another’s job, whether consciously or unconsciously,  I am not being a good follower. Instead, I am being “bossy.” This area was quickly revealed as I worked with others in the classrooms at the schools, or with my younger brother on his chores. I found that if I was being bossy that I would take over whenever I felt that he or she was not doing a “good enough” job. However, if I am to be a good follower, I must be willing to let the other person lead in his or her own way. In working with my siblings, this has been a hard pill to swallow. But the more that I work on not being bossy, the easier it is to have a good relationship with those that I am working with.
A second, yet more important test of being a good follower is in my relationship with the Lord. When I decide that God is not doing a good enough job, at least in my opinion, I tend to try to take over. That is when I get myself into lots of trouble. Bossiness is not appreciated, I have found. Rather, I must work on developing a servant’s heart.

This has been the hardest thing for me. A servant is flexible, and will willingly yield rights in order to serve his authorities. This has been a lesson that the Lord has tried to emphasis to me as I work here in the schools. So often I have high expectations that I am going to go to certain schools, or that I’ll be able to keep “my” classes. However, schedule changes do take place from time to time, and difficulties arise that make it necessary for me to serve elsewhere, whether in different classrooms or a different school. It has not been easy to learn this lesson. In fact, I have not totally conquered this area. Every time I think that I’ve got it down, something else arises that tests me in this area, and yet again shows me that I must continue to work on this area. The Lord is faithful to remind me that this is His work, not mine, and I need to do all my work unto God, and not as unto men. I’m simply an extension of Jesus’ ministry here on earth.

Someone once said, “Dress for the position you want, not the position you have.” I believe that this can be applied to every area of life. One must hold himself to the standard of the position he wants, not the position he has. Leaders are always held to a higher, stricter standard than those who are under them. If you want to be a leader, not just amongst your peers, but also in the world as a whole, you’ve got to hold yourself to a higher standard. A higher standard of dress, music, speech, behavior, relationships, etc.

I’ve known this for a long time, but it really stuck out to me after a recent incident. It was at the end of a long day, and I was being a little bit silly. One thing led to another, and I found myself involved in a simple foolish act. It wasn’t a big thing; in fact, I didn’t think much about it at the time, but afterward I regretted it. I had to go back and make things right and request forgiveness for my foolishness, and for not being a good example to the others around me. Foolishness is never tolerated in one who strives to be a leader. I suppose that this brings us back to the scripture that says, “Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in faith, in purity.” (I Timothy 4:12)

Yes, I’m still working on this one. I think that this might be one of the most common diseases of all man-kind. We could also call it other names: Fear of Rejection, Fear of Failure, etc. I mentioned this fear in my last Christmas letter. Since then, I’ve had the opportunity to work on it some more. When I was here in Gallaway last May, our group was asked to go and speak to a youth group at a local church. We prepared a song, a few skits, and some testimonies to share while we were there. Now, it’s one thing to get up in front of a group of children and a teacher and tell stories and that kind of thing. But it seems to be something totally different to give your all in a skit for others your own age. That was interesting. It was a skit about two sons who were sent by their father to get a car part, and on the way to the store they were distracted by the Burger King, the Roller Rink, and the Arcade. I was the cashier for all three, and it was absolutely crazy. I had a hard time not laughing the entire time. But I’ve learned that if you know that what you have to say is the truth, you can say it with confidence and boldness. 

Another opportunity that I had to overcome the fear of man was when I was placed in leadership over individuals older and more experienced than myself. Working with children was one thing, but my peers? What will they think? How can I do it?  Why me? I would think. I didn’t feel qualified to fill the job, but it was what the Lord had called me to do. Only as I relied completely on the Lord did I receive the strength that I needed. It was only as I was willing to die to myself and my pride for the cause of serving my Lord that I was able to go beyond the stumbling block of what others thought, and be bold.

This was one of those foundational lessons that the Lord has taught me through several situations this year. First, on January 17th, I received news that a kindred spirit, just a little older than I, had died in a car accident while on the mission field with her family. It was then that I had to come face to face with the fact that death is for real, at any age. My life could end at any moment. But then I realized that God has complete control of my life. I am indestructible until God’s work in and through my life is complete. I cried. No, I wept. But that night I told the Lord that I was going to trust Him to protect me, and that I was going to do my best to make the most of the time that I have right now. Six months later, that trust was tested. 

It was during one of the ministry trips that I did in July. Prior to leaving home, I had felt a building sense of urgency, like I was in a race against time. I had no idea what the week would hold for me, but I wanted to be ready. Then the accelerator on the van that myself and four other young ladies were driving in got stuck. We began to speed down the highway at 90mph. The van began to overheat, and we burnedout the brakes trying to keep a safe speed amid the heavy traffic, construction zones, speed limits, and merging lanes. We cried out to the Lord, but, amazingly, there wasn’t a sense of panic. Yes, we were scared, but not of dying. Later we discovered that we were undergoing a lot of spiritual warfare that evening, but it served as a reminder to me that the Lord has complete control over our lives and our circumstances. As James 1:2 says, “the trying of our faith worketh patience,” and I walked away with a powerful testimony of God’s protection that I’ll never forget!

I’m headed home this next week, and I’m excited about what the Lord has in store for me at there, serving my family and my church. I do pray that the Lord will allow me to return this next semester, and continue the relationships that were developed this fall. No matter what happens, I’m sure that I’ll be learning many more lessons as I continue to follow my Leader.

“Let us run with patience the race that is set before us” and “press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Hebrews 12:2 & Philippians 3:14

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