"Last year, I was traveling all over the country, telling people to trust God with their relationships," Josh told the crowd at a True Love conference in November.  "Then I'd leave and I'd say, 'What about me, God?'  I loved the brochures for the conference.  They had a picture of me and below it said, 'Josh Harris: Searching for True Love.'"

He can joke about it now, but it wasn't so funny as he was going through it. "I'd go home to Maryland, to the church, and there was Shannon.  'Hi Josh!'" he said in a falsetto voice.  "'Welcome back!'  EEEEK!  Guys like to search out mutual vibes; all I wanted was to know if she felt the same way about me.  The spirit of eighth grade fell upon me; I felt like writing her a note, 'Do you like me?  Check one: yesnomaybeIdunno!'"

He didn't send the note, but everything still worked out, and he and Shannon were married in October.  Shannon now travels with Josh on the True Love tour, singing with the band and talking to the girls about love and her experience with Josh. 

"I liked Josh right away," she admitted.  Josh, standing offstage, pumped his fists victoriously.  "And then I wasted the next several months wondering if he was the right one.  We seemed made for each other; we were both short, we both drove Hondas…"  Everyone laughed.  "Seriously, I was the only person who was shorter than him!"  Josh gasped and fell over as if he'd been stabbed through the heart. 

"I wasn't trusting God.  I was so consumed with trying to determine God's will, but God's will needed to be revealed in His time!"

Shannon had some words of advice for those who find themselves struggling with feelings for someone.  "Involve your parents.  Allow God to work on your behalf.  Don't allow your desires to become greater than God's plan for your life.  Don't read things into the actions of your brothers in Christ.  Be pursuing growth in Godly character.  Serve at home, in ministries, at church, in Bible studies.  Seek out Godly women to mentor you.  Develop that character; it prepares you for marriage and attracts Godly men!"  She laughed.  "This shouldn't be our goal, of course, but it is nice!"

The thing that sets Josh and the True Love conference apart from most other speakers and writers about courtship is that he doesn't use the word "courtship"!  In an interview with New Attitude magazine Josh said, "In many ways we've allowed the idea of "committing to courtship" to get us off course.  Instead of keeping Christ at the center of the discussion, we've often been guilty of looking for some set of rules, some formula that will make romance painless and perfect.  It's not working.  I meet kids so obsessed with figuring out the "rules" and "forms" of courtship that they're completely distracted from enjoying their singleness and serving God with abandon!  I'm saying to young adults, "Look, until you're ready for marriage, don't worry about courtship. Let's look to scripture for what it means to love sincerely, to live a pure life and be purposeful with our singleness." 

Most of the conference isn't even about dating or not dating.  Instead, Josh challenges his listeners to take a second look at their relationship with God.  "We're supposed to glorify God.  Living your life to glorify God means doing everything for Him, His way to point to His greatness and reflect His goodness.  When we obey God we're saying with our lives that His commands are good, that He deserves to be obeyed and that His timing is perfect."

Josh urges young people to take their focus off of marriage and put it on serving God.  "I have bad new for those of you who think you won't be happy until you get married.  Getting married is nice, believe me, but it will not satisfy you!  Only God can satisfy you!  If you aren't being satisfied by God now, marriage will not change things."

In Religion Today Josh said, "Courtship is not a formula or a legalistic mindset.  Anyone who enters courtship with the wrong attitude will 'find loopholes.'  Instead it is real desire from the heart to glorify God." 

Josh and Shannon are living proof that it works.

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